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When going to school feels impossible
For some students, getting through the school gates isn’t simply a matter of not wanting to go.
Anxiety, overwhelm, sensory needs, social difficulties, learning challenges and other factors can make attending or participating in school incredibly difficult.
You may hear terms such as school refusal, school avoidance or School Can’t used to describe these experiences.
For teachers and school staff, it can be difficult to know how to respond — particularly when a student is distressed but can’t explain exactly what is making school feel so hard.
Here are some practical ways schools can support students experiencing difficulties with school attendance or participation.
What is School Can’t?
“School Can’t” is a term increasingly used to describe situations where a young person is experiencing significant barriers that make attending or engaging with school difficult.
It shifts the conversation away from assuming a child simply won’t attend and encourages us to look at what might be making school feel unmanageable for them.
Every student’s experience is different, which is why understanding what is happening underneath the behaviour is important.
What can it look like?
Difficulties around school can present in many different ways.
A student might:
- become distressed before or during school
- frequently ask to go home
- struggle with particular lessons, environments or transitions
- withdraw or shut down
- experience physical complaints around school time
- find it difficult to communicate what is wrong
- attend some days or lessons but struggle with others
- become overwhelmed by noise, social situations, workload or expectations
These behaviours don't necessarily tell us why the student is struggling. They can be a starting point for understanding what support might help.
1. Give students a way to communicate
One of the hardest questions for a distressed student to answer can be:
“What’s wrong?”
Sometimes they genuinely don't know how to put the experience into words.
Visual prompts, communication cards, check-ins or choice-based tools can give students another way to communicate what they are finding difficult.
This can also help adults move from “They don't want to be here” towards “What is making being here difficult today?”
A ready-to-use communication tool
The School Can’t Cards available on Shareify are designed to help open up communication around the barriers a young person may be experiencing at school.
Explore the School Can’t Cards →
2. Identify patterns and triggers
Rather than looking only at attendance, consider when difficulties are occurring.
Is Monday particularly difficult? Is distress higher before a certain subject? During transitions? At lunchtime? In noisy environments? Around assessment?
Patterns can provide useful clues about what might be contributing to a student's experience.
3. Create predictability
When school already feels overwhelming, uncertainty can make things harder.
Depending on the individual student, support might include:
- clear visual schedules
- preparing students for changes
- predictable morning routines
- identifying a trusted adult
- providing a known place they can go when overwhelmed
- breaking large tasks into smaller steps
The aim isn't to find one strategy that works for every child. It's to understand what helps that particular student feel safer and more able to engage.
4. Make emotional regulation part of the support
When a student is highly distressed, solving the problem immediately may not be possible.
Having familiar regulation strategies available — such as breathing exercises, movement, sensory supports, visual prompts or access to a calm space — can give students practical options when things become overwhelming.
These strategies are often most useful when they have been introduced and practised before the student reaches a point of distress.
5. Work together
Supporting a student experiencing significant difficulties with school attendance isn't something one teacher should be expected to solve alone.
Communication between the student, family, teachers, wellbeing staff and relevant health or allied-health professionals can help build a clearer picture of what the student is experiencing and what supports may be appropriate.
Most importantly, the student's own experience should be part of that conversation.
Start with understanding
When a student is struggling to attend or participate in school, behaviour is only part of the picture.
Sometimes one of the most useful places to begin is simply asking:
What is making school hard for this student — and how can we make it more manageable?
Small adjustments, better communication and the right support can make a meaningful difference.
Looking for school anxiety and student wellbeing resources?
Shareify brings together practical digital resources created by Australian educators and allied health professionals, including resources for school anxiety, emotional regulation, communication, social skills and student wellbeing.
